Survivor’s Lament

They told her
run, run, run,
but not too fast,
you should
let them chase you.

They urge her to 
quiet, quiet, quiet,
tell no one of 
this battle.

She wanted to
go, go, go,
anywhere other than
where they were,
and to hold onto
her innocence.

All they do is
take, take, take,
everything from
the ones they catch.

But frozen she
stood, stood, stood,
her brain unable
to tell her lips.

She longed to
scream, scream, scream,
but she could not
find the words.

They looked at her and
laughed, laughed, laughed,
her lament providing
them with a sitcom’s
worth of humor.

Eventually they
lost, lost, lost,
interest in her
and walked away.

They left her there to
melt, melt, melt,
away with her memories
of her ordeal. 

She finally
screamed, screamed, screamed,
but she
knew, knew, knew,
that it was in
vain, vain, vain, 
because it was her word against their’s
and who would they
believe, believe, believe?

The Height of Inequity

When you come home
from a long day at work
and your feet are sore 
from wearing heels all day
–
remember that you do
not have to wear them;
remember who tells you to
wear them and why.

Liar, Liar

The biggest lie I 
have ever told is 
one I have lied time
and time again. I looked
you all in the eyes
and I told you not
to worry, I said “I
am okay” or “I will
be fine.” These are 
lies I have become all
too good at telling. But,
the truth is, that I was not
okay, I never knew if I
would be fine, and you
probably should have
worried about me. The
truth is, lies became easier
than honesty. The truth is, I
told these lies so often that I
stopped knowing what was a lie
and what was the truth. If I am
being completely honest,
I was rarely okay. But saying I 
was became habit, and I hoped
that if I said it enough, then maybe
one day it would be true.

When Less is Less

The real killer
is the notion
that a woman
is made to be
wroth less
with each pound gained. 

Conundrum

The notion that you 
must be “good enough”
for someone else
will lead you down dark paths. 

It will lead you to
men who will hurt,
use and undermine you. 

It will lead you to
meals unfinished and
a weight that is never low enough

It will lead you to
jobs that do not
value or fulfill you. 

It will lead you to
nights alone with
nothing but wine and tears.

It will lead you to
fresh wounds at the surface
and wounds never tended to at the core.

It will lead you to 
being fearful of
living a full life. 

It will lead you to
reflections of yourself
that you do not like or recognize. 

You are uniquely you
and so full of potential;
once you realize you are “good enough”
for you, 
the rest of your world will follow.

Handmade

Why do we raise
our daughters to
fear fat,
dread stretch marks,
to feel unease at the thought
of cellulite,
and to crave bones and breasts –
all over intellect and
empathy?

Why do we raise
our sons to
believe that women
should be insecure
and submissive?

Why do we raise
our children this way
and then question how
they became these people?

20/20

They told us
that if the boys
were mean to us

it meant they liked us. 

So from a when I was
a small flower not yet bloomed
I equated lust
and love to desire

and meanness. 

The first time 
he called me stupid,
and yelled in my face

I thought it was love. 

The first time 
he told me that I
was worthless

I accepted it as normal. 

When he called 
me fat
I thought it was normal
and I made myself believe 

he meant it in a good way.

When he threw
things and got angry
and scared me,

I thought it was because he cared about me.

When he tore
me down
to bits of nothingness and
ripped my petals off of me

I told myself that he was mean because he loved me.

If they had told me
that boys being mean
to girls
was wrong,
and that true love
lets you bloom to your
full flowery potential

maybe I would have walked away sooner.

Red

I dreaded the day I
would become a woman.
That dark red spot
was another thing to hate my body for.
It was another thing I
was not in control of.
It meant I was physically
ready for things I could not fathom.
It meant my body could
belong to a man,
when I did not even
want it.

We Gave Them Strings

Words did not
start out as
bad or good. 
Society changes them
to suit their needs;
and tells us what
is bad and 
what is good.
Like fat
is bad
and like skinny
is good. 
They started out
as words;
then they
were given a 
life of their own.

Junior

They said that
I deserved better
but I did not
believe them.

I accepted the love
that I was used to
and that I thought
I deserved.

So I defended you
and said that they
did not know you
like I did.

They said that
you did not treat
me well, and the
truth is they were right.

But I equated
love with control
which is what
you had over me.

I wish that I
had believed
every word
they had said.

Because how can you
use the same breath
to call someone a bitch
and say “I love you”?