The Fear

I am scared
of blood,
but I drew
my own
and craved it.

I am scared
of snakes,
but I let 
them into my
life willingly. 

I am scared
of feeling out of control,
but I watched
as my entire life
fell apart. 

I am scared
of loss,
but I isolate
myself and push
people away. 

I am scared 
of uncertainty,
but I am uncomfortable
asking too
many questions. 

I am scared
of pain,
but I allow myself
and others
to hurt me. 

I am scared
of being happy,
because if is 
so often followed
by sadness. 

I am scared 
of being sad,
because it
always seems 
so endless. 

I am scared
of feeling empty,
yet I deprived
my body of
all that it needed.

I am scared 
of myself,
because no one
has ever wounded me
the way that I have. 

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