The Space Between Then & Now

I used to be so
confused and afraid
of my own mind
that I marked my 
body each time I
felt confusion or fear. 

I drew blood
hoping to draw
conclusions and answers;
I craved a visible reasoning
for my invisible pain. 

I am still
confused and afraid,
maybe more than I
was then;
but now instead
of spilling blood
I spill ink.